h1

chivalry.

March 1, 2009

A friend gave me a ride home last night and surprised me, not once but twice, with unexpectedly chivalrous acts. First, he opened the door of the car so I could get in. Opening normal doors is something I expect (I open doors for people all the time), car doors are a different story. It was a nice gesture though since I was dressed up and freezing cold. Second, he walked me to my door. I’ve gotten walked home at night before, which is great because walking alone in the dark sucks. But I don’t think I’ve ever had someone drive me all the way up to my driveway, turn off the car, and walk me the fifteen feet to my door. Not even a boyfriend.

This night coincided nicely with a blog post I was reading on chivalry. It brought up the point that women today often refuse would-be chivalrous acts because they think it’s sexist or creepy. And I think it’s a little sad. Are we really so cautious that we want to refuse something that will make our lives a tiny bit easier? I don’t necessarily think all the old guidelines need a come back (like guys walking on the street-side of the sidewalk). However, I shouldn’t be blown away after getting walked to my front step. Maybe I’m just really easy to impress.

Really, I’m being a bit of a hypocrite. I very strongly object to the boyfriend trying to carry the grocery bags. It makes me a bit uncomfortable if a guy friend pays for me (for a reason other than that I have no bills to pay my share). I don’t think I would like if a guy pulled a chair out for me; I’d actually probably be oblivious and try to sit in the other seat. That being said, the offer is always appreciated. It makes a girl feel special.

And for the girls, don’t take any of it for granted. If a guy does something that would fall into the chivalrous category, show some appreciation!

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8 comments

  1. >> I’ve gotten walked home at night before, which is great because walking alone in the dark sucks

    I know it does 😛


    • That’s why you’re one of my favorite people.


  2. Great blog!
    I guess it’s an art to offer these chivalrous acts with grace. There’s a very fine line between being nice and being creepy — and I guess this line varies from woman to woman.


  3. So please, what’s wrong with trying to help you out with your grocery bags ?
    Not only it makes the boyfriend uncomfortable and useless but usually the girlfriend is miserable with it …
    What’s on your mind ladies ?!


    • There is nothing wrong with helping, especially when I need help and would be miserable. But if I have one or two bags, the offer’s nice but not necessary. And I’ve accepted that if the guy still pushes after I’ve rebuffed the offer, I’ll just give in. It’s usually not worth the effort to put up a big fight.


  4. I always used to do that on dates!(back when I had a car) Girls find that creepy? Maybe that’s why there was never a second date… =(

    Regarding the grocery bags though, we end up looking like an ass if we’re walking around with a girl and she’s holding a bag in each hand while we have ours in our pocket.


    • Hmm…maybe my post came off wrong. The point is that it shouldn’t be creepy. It’s sad that girls feel that way because it’s great. I wrote about it because it made me really happy. So keep doing it!


  5. […] manliness. January 27, 2010 Well, back to one of the recurring topics on my blog – men and women and their interactions. The Art of Manliness (which I highly recommend) posted What Can […]



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