March 10, 2009

Although it’s not a new discovery, I’ve recently been acutely aware of how much I hate being alone. Not alone in the “big picture of the universe” or  “my boyfriend’s across the country” sense, it’s much more specific than that. Although it sounds utterly ridiculous, it’s more of a “no one’s in this room with me” loneliness. Even if I’m just doing my own thing and don’t want to socialize, I still feel a little bit sad when no one else is around.

I first realized how much I dislike being alone during Fall Break freshman year because it was the first time I was actually fairly alone. Growing up in a six person family, it always seemed like someone was in the house. In college, I was almost always with friends or a boyfriend. Now, out of college, it’s not the same at all. And with traveling, hotel rooms are not helping with the alone-ness. The only positive to being alone is that I can look terrible and walk around in my underwear and no one can care.

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