October 27, 2009

TresSugar (don’t judge the sites I read) had this slide show up last month – 10 best things about being single. It included everything from crushes and flirting to getting more sleep and focusing on other goals. These kinds of lists kill me for two reasons.

First, do single ladies really need a list like this? It seems to imply that being single is so terrible that it takes some effort to come up with reasons why it’s not so bad. And while I have absolutely no experience in the singles’ world, I can’t imagine it being that awful. On the flip side, being in a relationship is no walk in the clouds. People get antsy once they pass the “new relationship” phase. A list, then, about the amazingness of singledom would create a want for that “freedom”. Which brings me to my second point…

Many things on this list and being in a relationship are not mutually exclusive. And if you believe they are, I think you need to reevaluate your relationship. Of the ten items listed, I only see flirting and new crushes as mostly exclusive to singles (I guess it could depend on how exclusive your relationships are too). But the other 8 areas (free time, friend time, sleep, dates, goals, etc) aren’t limited for those of us in good relationships. In fact, this list made me realize how awful it is to be in a long-distance relationship. I get few of the positives of being in a relationship, none of the benefits of being single, and all the effort to maintain the relationship.

I should make a list of 10 best things about long-distance relationships.



  1. First on your list: Me!

  2. Not to disparage those who are single, but I love everything about being in a relationship. To me, being single is too much work. Too much primping and preening to try and get that first date. Too much fakery until you can finally let your true self show.

    Sure, flirting can be a lot of fun, but it’s not worth it (to me).

    As far as the long distance thing, I can think of one good thing about it. Every time you see each other is fresh. Another way to put it – you don’t get on each other’s nerves because you’re so busy trying to soak up every minute together. And, depending on the secularity/religiousness of your relationship – there’s definitely something to be said for reunion “relations”.

    • I also love not being single. I think it’s mostly because I wouldn’t know what to do if I was (it’s been so long). But I like having someone who’s always there.

      And I’m impressed. I seriously sat for a long time trying to come up with a list for long distance and I couldn’t come up with anything. You came up with two things!

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