November 21, 2009

Just like I’m not a hugger, I’m definitely not a cryer. At least with everyone other than the boyfriend. He probably thinks the complete opposite. But given that I don’t cry too often, I don’t know what to do when someone is crying.

In the last couple months, I’ve had to deal with a friend crying more than I’d normally like – which is none. I know it’s out of frustration and a little bit of unhappiness tied up with a few hits to the self-esteem. But we’ll be having a conversation and I can see her eyes getting watery. Luckily, she’s good enough that she wraps up the subject pretty quickly and moves on to something less emotional. But what am I to do?

It’s not that I’m not sympathetic or understanding – I just don’t know what to say or do when someone else is in tears. So I just end up feeling uncomfortable because there’s nothing I can do. Because really, what can anyone do? I’ve always seen tears as an outlet. They’re kind of an end result that happens when I feel there’s nothing I can do to fix a situation. And even though I’m technically wanting a solution, it’s not going to stop the flow. There’s never going to be something that makes everything all better. It just has to happen and pass and then you can just go along your way.

But maybe that’s just me.



  1. Cry louder and harder and preferably before the other person does and, with fresh tears every drop — that’ll make them more uncomfortable than you are. Now see if they stop being emotional in front of you. :p

  2. A hug – If she’s openly crying(and doesn’t look like she will stop anytime soon).

    Say something funny/lighthearted/off-subject – If she’s trying to hold it back.

    Now if it’s a guy, just punch him in the face and tell him to man up. (I’m kidding, a dude crying is awkward no matter what you do.)

  3. If you’re going for 30 Rock-style comedy, pat them no the head in an awkard manner.

    I’d say probably hug or just offer a tissue.

  4. It’s comforting to know that even girls have a hard time dealing with crying girls. I’d say just do what you’d want someone to do if you were crying or, as Min says, punch her in the face.

    • I’d like to put on record that I did not and will not ever advocate punching a girl in a face.

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