April 13, 2010

You know how I love to read articles that annoy me to death? Well, guilty again. It started with this. And naturally, I had to click through to read the article. Basic idea was similar to that new crisis men are having with the modern woman. Men have begun taking longer to “grow up”; women used to being on equal footing are upsetting the dating order; blah, blah, blah.

I can accept girls are confusing. It’s completely a toss-up as to whether a girl will bite your head off for opening a door or dump you because you didn’t. That makes it tough. Too bad. It’s not like guys are just an open book. Sure they might be a little better with their signals. In the end though, can I tell (on the first date or from a brief conversation) if you’re the kind of guy who wants a relationship or one who just wants to hook up? No, no I can’t.

But what really kills me is this impression that girls are “dishonest, self-involved, slutty, manipulative, shallow, controlling, and gold-digging“. And therefore, why should guys want anything to do with us? I don’t have a good reason beyond that’s just not what I think.   I agree fully with Squashed – the kind of guy, who doesn’t understand why he should bother finding a nice girl (aka relationship), shouldn’t. I’m also a big believer that if somehow all the girls you meet are crazy or scheming, it might not be them. It might be you. Then again, I could turn the question around. I know there are girls out there that would describe men with the exact same adjectives (though maybe substituting gold-digging with insensitive). And why should women want to date men? Especially now, when women are much more financially stable. What are men bringing to the relationship other than sex?

Last, and I’m not going to really get into it, is the man looking for an upgrade because his girlfriend fits only 6 of 10 requirements. Do people really do this? By this, I mean rate others in terms of requirements. My guess is, the girl that fits those 10 requirements either a) taken because your requirements are probably not all that uncommon or b) has her own set of requirements that you do not fit. So if he’s holding out because he thinks that perfect 10 is going to show up – let me tell you a secret, she’s probably not. Not saying you should settle. Just saying the world isn’t so black and white and you’re probably going to have to give a little. Though maybe these people will slowly self-select themselves into extinction because they can’t find someone who’s good enough to reproduce with.



  1. There is a category of people that I think of as non-adapters. These are people who think the world should be a certain way and, when it isn’t, decide that the world is stupid and give up whatever has just failed them.

    Nothing in life is going to go exactly how you expect it to. The truly successful people in life are the ones who can roll with the punches and figure out different ways to get what they want. This guy is stupid.

  2. I’m always a little skeptical of people who have a list for what they think is the perfect girl. The way I see it, if you’re able to identify the exact few things that makes you love someone, then you’re probably in trouble. What happens if in twenty year those things aren’t there anymore? Or you don’t feel the same way about those things?

    • Divorce!

      But I agree. If you have a list, it can’t be significantly different than the next person’s list. No one wants an unattractive, mean, lying, crazy significant other.

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