Everyone’s heard about the mid-life crisis. However, its close relative, the quarter-life crisis, seems to hide in the background. I never even knew it existed. Except now it seems a significant number of people I know are having one. It’s quite depressing for me.
According to Wikipedia, the quarter-life crisis is that point when you realize the “real world” isn’t exactly what you imagined when you were 10. It’s a period of adjustment – a kind of growing into your skin, filling out your shoes, whatever way you’d like to put it. Perhaps what makes this so terrible is the fact that adolescence is often spent trying to adjust and accept yourself (remember middle school?). By 25, you feel like you should be past all that crap. Except, you never really get past it (and not in the depressing kind of way).
The mid-life crisis is realizing you’ve spent half your life doing something you dislike, or that you have a whole list of things that you still want to do or some such idea. Ultimately, in my opinion, it’s regret at some sort of decision you made in your life. But if the quarter-life crisis exists, shouldn’t that make the mid-life crisis non-existent? When you realize life can be tough, that you’re in a job you hate, that you’re insecure, that you have relationship trouble – clearly, you learn to deal with it in your 20’s in order to make it to middle life. So how does it happen again? That just seems wrong. But I’m not anywhere near a mid-life crisis, so I guess I can’t speculate too much.
That being said, I am in my 20’s and I don’t think I’m having a crisis. Google defines crisis for me as “an unstable situation of extreme danger or difficulty”. That’s the second reason why I’m never going to be in a life crisis. I am absolutely opposed to describing my life as unstable, dangerous or difficult. It may sound corny (or like I’m in denial), but I think as soon as you see a situation in that light, it seems impossible to overcome. It’s like when you feel so busy you can’t start working. You just get stuck. But the first reason I won’t have a crisis is because I don’t make decisions I regret (or at least I haven’t yet). Maybe it’s the denial again – that would be awful. The way I see it, I’m clearly making the best decisions I can at the moment I make them, so what’s the point in having 20/20 vision in hindsight? Beyond not making the same mistakes – none. It’s a waste of energy to think “god, I should have done that” and instead that energy should be spent on thinking “here’s what I’m going to do”.
I realize that’s way easier said than done. I don’t have a clue what that thing I’m going to do is. I’m not one for life planning, but everyone should have some vague goals about what they want in life. For a long time, my goal in life was to have a sweet apartment (one that doesn’t look like IKEA) and a nice car. I have since given up on the nice car (not that I don’t want one but I’ve accepted I dislike driving enough that it would be a waste). But I still want a kick-ass apartment – and I probably should set some new goals too. Beyond that, I know my options and I just have to pick whatever’s going to make me happiest right now.